Mind and Flesh Read online

  “Sorry, sorry. So what decided you to apply to our group?”

  “I apologize for speaking up,” she enounces slowly while her face gets full-on red, “but don't just say sorry and brush it off! You use your position of power to pick me up, that is not alright to do at all. So what am I going to expect if I work here, constant sexual tension?”

  Fuck, I did not expect this situation to blow up like that. “Ok, ok. I was improper. Please forgive me.”

  She gets up. Quick, I need to think!

  I want her. I can't let her go, just like that. After all that I have been through, I need some sort of reward. If it does not give itself to me, I will grab it.

  “Wait. I still just want to show you what we are working on in this lab. In case it piques your interest.”

  “Your lab has no interest left for me.” She seems resolved. Shit.

  “Still, for the sake of science, I am pretty sure that you would want to have seen this at least once in your life. It's so good, perhaps you would even change your mind and want to stick around.”

  “How so?”

  “Follow me, I will show you.”

  I start walking. She seems dubitative, but she still follows after me. She seems on her guard though, probably wary in case I will sexually assault her.

  I lead her to the lab and open the door. On one end of the lab, shelves full of different pieces of equipment and electronics. On the other end, a few machines on benches, with computers around them. In the middle, a few benches with tools, and my machine on one of the benches.

  I point the machine to her. “This thing,” I declare, “will revolutionize humankind.”

  She gets closer to it, and picks up a neuro-helmet to inspect it.

  “What does it do?”

  I shouldn't tell her something too bad, or she will not dare put it on her head. After all, I doubt that she wants to share my thoughts.

  “It reads your dreams and stores them as a movie.”

  “What, really? That will not revolutionize humanity, but that is pretty cool!” She smiled.

  “Alright, try it on, put it on your head.”

  “But I am not asleep, so what's the point?”

  I get closer to the bench. The second neuro-helmet is behind the machine, it is possible that she has not seen it yet.

  “What you can try is, picture a scene in your mind, and the machine will pick it up and record it. It does not just work with dreams, but so far it has been calibrated with dreams.”

  “So you could just think of a movie and create it out of nowhere? Wow, that is really awesome!”

  She puts the neuro-helmet on her head.

  “You need to close your eyes for it to work, otherwise your vision of reality will interfere.”

  “Alright, but don't do anything funny or weird!”

  “No, look, I am sorry about earlier, but now I am just excited to show you the machine.”

  I put the second neuro-helmet on my head.

  My sister climbing a tree when she was a kid. A series of numbers hanging from the tree instead of fruits. The system validates my password and grants me access.

  I program the usual copy of my mind into her brain.

  The machine scans my neuronal connections. Resets her neuronal connections and inputs mine instead.

  She opens her eyes. She is fixing me with her beautiful eyes.

  “Did it work?” I enquire.

  “Yes… I am here.” The voice is a bit different, a lower tone. My other self did not get the pitch right.

  I get closer to her. I remove the neuro-helmet from her head. I touch her face with the palm of my hand. She stays still. I get my lips closer to hers.

  “Wait! Stop!” she screams. She looks panicked.

  “What? What is wrong?”

  “I… cannot.”

  “But… I want to… So you should want too?”

  “No... You triggered the memory of the rape when you got close to me.”

  “What? No way, nothing happened to me.”

  “Perhaps because you are a male and I am a girl… I am the one that would be penetrated here! Look, I am sorry, but it frightens me.”

  “Yes but… You know it’s me. It should be fine.”

  “No! It is not!”

  “Shit! Shit! You are useless now!”

  “Fuck you! You are… we are… just an animal! We took over that girl for nothing!”

  “She is just another fucking rabbit. You know what? With the machine, we can find the memory pattern of the rape and then delete it. And for fuck's sake, you know you like that body that I have, you find it handsome and I… you… masturbated it earlier…”

  “This is so fucking weird and twisted. But I guess you are right. We could try. I don’t want to have to deal with that shit memory.”

  “Alright, put the neuro-helmet back on, think of the rape, and let the machine detect the triggered neuronal pattern.”

  She puts the neuro-helmet on her head. She is probably thinking about the same password… We now are two people thinking of my sister…

  “I think I got it. Can you come closer to me so I can see if it lights up the same pattern?”

  I approach her face again. I want to kiss her again… I get closer.

  “Fuck, keep away!”

  “Did you get it?”

  “Yeah… Deleting the pattern now.” She removes the neuro-helmet. “Alright, try again.”

  I get closer to her. My lips are on hers. I introduce my tongue in her mouth. Her tongue meets mine.

  “Mmm yes, it is better now. I will not think of you as another guy, I will think of it as masturbation.”

  “Yes…” She needs to shut up and get on with it. I feel so horny.

  I lower my hand on her crotch and start rubbing her through the pants. Her breathing intensifies. So far so good. I kiss her again. She is still not using her hands to touch me. I guess I should not expect too much. I don't care. I will fuck her.

  I unfasten her belt, open the buttons and plunge my hand under her underwear. I can feel her pussy under my fingers. It is moist. I am getting her wet. I am getting myself wet. A handsome guy and a gorgeous girl.

  With my other hand, I try to take her top off. I struggle. We stop kissing. She helps me remove it and throws it away.

  She suddenly stops and looks at her breasts. She fondles them.

  “Yay, nice boobs,” she says.

  “Wait, let me see,” I reply with a smile, also fondling her breasts with her. We kiss again. As she probably feels happy in her new body, she gets along with the sex. Loving oneself seems important to feel comfortable during sex. I can't wait to be inside of her. I go back to her pussy with one hand, while my other hand works on taking my pants off. I can feel my dick throbbing under the clothes.

  I finally pull my dick out. I push her against the nearest wall. She turns her back on me. I enter her. I thrust back and forth slowly, then with all my strength. I am fucking this gorgeous girl. I am fucking her! No I am fucking myself. Not the girl. It does not matter, her body is so hot, I want to fuck that.

  She lets out the beginning of a moan. She stops it mid-sentence, as if ashamed, then after a few seconds she moans again while I accompany her with my grunts. We keep this going. I breathe heavily. I thrust faster and faster. The feeling of my dick sliding inside of her and the view of her ass are turning me on so much. I feel the equivalent of an electric current in the tip. This is it. Just a bit more.

  An intense release of pleasure erupts from the tip of my dick. My breathing is heavier and slower. I pull myself out of her and find a chair to sit on, my dick still throbbing in the air. I pick up a tissue and wipe the sperm off.

  She drops down on the floor, looking exhausted, her eyes half-closed. I throw her the pack of tissues. She grabs a few tissues and wipes her pussy clean. Sperm still drips out of it, so she takes another tissue to remove the rest.

  “How was it?” I ask her, curious.

  “You know, I have just
been thrown in this body, and I am not used to it yet,” she answers. “I was overwhelmed by the new feelings. It was weird because it was you and you are me. It felt very mechanical. I had pleasure, but nothing extraordinary. Ah, and it was too short for me to come.”

  Too short? Was it premature ejaculation? No, I just was too much into it and made no effort to hold off. “Ah sorry… I guess I was a bit too excited?”

  “You are the one that got most pleasure out of it, I am left a bit frustrated.”

  “Yeah… I will do better next time.” I do not care if I please her more, I just want to emphasize that I will fuck her again. And then I realize something. “This is the first time that there are going to be two of myself at the same time.”

  “Fuck, and now I will have to go live the life of this girl?”

  “No, no. You can live with me. I will take you as an intern.”

  “Yeah. Let's do that. Then we can… Shit shit shit!” She looks horrified.

  “What?”

  “I have no idea if she was on birth control! Fuck, I don't want to be pregnant! We didn't use a condom!”

  “Calm down, calm down, there is the morning after pill.”

  “Yeah… I need to take that as soon as possible.” She does not look as shocked, but still anxious.

  “Having a baby from myself…”

  “Shut up. That is so fucked up, I don't want to carry a baby.”

  “In any case, if you did, it would come from different genes.”

  “That does not make it alright. I am not going to carry a baby, period. Let’s get this pill now.”

  ***

  I enter the restaurant. Immediately, a waitress comes to see me, welcomes me and asks if I have a reservation. I can already recognize the government guy in a corner to her right, so I tell her that I am with him. She smiles and guides me there. This place looks very cold and formal. Everything has sharp right angles, and the colors do not stray from white or grey.

  The government guy gets up and extends his hand with his usual grin. “Oh, hello. Glad to see you.”

  “The pleasure is mine,” I answer between my teeth while shaking his hand.

  We both sit down and the waitress gives us a menu then leaves.

  “I am glad that you recognized me,” he casually says. “Since we supposedly never met before.” His smile broadens, I can see his teeth.

  Shit… I am never careful enough. Although, he probably knows everything about me anyway.

  “Couldn't the neuro-engineer give me a description of your looks?”

  “Ah, about the neuro-engineer. I am not sure if this is news for you, but he died.”

  “Oh no,” I reply while trying to look sad. “What happened?”

  “Cardiac arrest.”

  “I see. Poor guy, he was brilliant.”

  “Last time I saw him, he didn't look very fresh, so I suppose that was to be expected.” Is he toying with me?

  “What did you want to see me for?”

  The waitress is back next to the table with a small notebook, ready to take our orders.

  “Let's start with some foie gras for the entrance, with two glasses of Riesling. Then we will have steak tartare with two glasses of Château Pavie-Macquin.” She bows her head and leaves us.

  He addresses me again. “I want to make sure that you handle this project the way I want it. And, importantly, record the process so the machine can be built on a large scale. Your plans need to be accurate, and the coding reproducible. Do you think you can do that?” His last sentence was slower, with a threatening tone.

  I am very uncomfortable with letting anyone replicate my machine. All my secrets are in here. However, I agree that leaving plans is the only way to mass produce it and allow me to better humanity. I want to make humanity grow out of its nefarious basic instincts. Thus, I will indeed record everything so he can replicate it, and I will make my own set of instructions hidden in the code.

  “Yes, I will record everything. Don't worry.”

  “Good, good. Evidently, you know that this should be kept secret and you only report to me.”

  “What about my colleagues? They are already guessing a lot. They need to understand what they are working on to improve on it.”

  “Yes, I guess that it can't be helped. Don't tell them too much, just enough so they can do their job. We will keep an eye on them.”

  “An eye for what exactly?”

  “Anything. Spreading the information online. Revealing the project. And, also, we shouldn't let anyone leave with the machine. It now stays where it is, where you work.”

  The waitress brings food and drinks, and then asks to taste the wine. Just like last time, the government guy looks very pompous when he makes his almost funny expert grimaces and says that it is good enough. She pours the rest of the wine and leaves. He puts some foie gras in his mouth, then some bread. He then looks at me with a satisfied air.

  “Do you know how foie gras is made?”

  “I am not very knowledgeable about food, sorry.” I take some foie gras and imitate him. The texture is very fatty on the tongue, almost like butter. I swallow. Strong taste, and quite different from simple meat. A bit disgusting to me.

  “It is made from the liver of gooses, or sometimes ducks. They are migratory birds that need to stock up fat. To produce foie gras, the birds are immobilized, and a tube is plunged into their throats. Then they are force-fed large quantities of a mash with a pneumatic pump.” He mimes the scene with unsettling glee in his eyes. “After that, there is the boring part which consists of low-heat cooking.”

  My wife would have reacted violently to such a story. I almost want to fill in her role and say that this is a cruel way to make an unnecessary food. However, I am certain that the cruelty of the feeding is an important factor in the pleasure this guy gets in eating the foie gras.

  I eat more of the soft liver and start to imagine humans being force-fed in the same way. Not to be eaten, but so they can be more productive at their job and avoid wasting time at lunch. I am sure that a lot of companies would employ this method if they could.

  “As soon as you are done with the machine,” he says once his plate is empty, “I want you to show me everything I need to use it. You can test if it works before, but I will want to test it again to make sure. When everything is clear, I will send it for mass production.”

  “Ok.”

  “Do you think that the long distance requirement will be met?”

  “I suppose that we can do it. I can't guarantee anything.”

  “I want you to be more certain than that. A lot is at stakes here.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The mass production. I already engaged myself.”

  “Well, that is your problem if you got hotheaded. Your actions do not translate in a magic technology boost.” I instantly regret speaking up. I need that guy with me, not against me.

  “I will make sure that it is not just my problem if you don't deliver.” Unveiled threat in his voice. It hurts me directly in the head. Compressed. Hit with a hammer.

  Fuck, no! My headache is back. I quickly grab a pill from my pocket and swallow it with water.

  I am sweating. My head feels too hot.

  I focus and breathe.

  I look up. He is observing me with a look of strong interest and a smile. Fuck him.

  As I am gradually getting better, the waitress comes with the meat and wine.

  I really hate the power that this guy has over me. Actually… I am perhaps not so badly at a disadvantage. If he engaged himself, he could have his career on the line. Or perhaps not, but he probably does not want to look bad. If things go to worse and I don't deliver, I could eventually change body and vanish if I find a good way to do it without him noticing. Or maybe… I could even let him think that the machine is finished, have him test it while actually deleting him. That is an idea.

  So I have three options. The project gets done and I deliver the machine he wants. I manag
e to squeeze in my special set of instructions to better humanity. Or we can't improve the machine, and then the two last possibilities. Either I vanish, which sounds difficult with how much he seems to be able to imply that he knows about me. Or finally, what would be the best solution if the long distance upgrade does not work, I tell him that the machine works and I trap him when he wants to test it. Now that I think about it, if the machine does not work, it would be difficult to have him put a neuro-helmet on. Especially since he knows how dangerous it is, I doubt that he would risk trying it in person. No, it would be difficult for me to pull this off, I should keep that idea for worst case scenario.

  The waitress has gone and he has started to eat again, still glancing at me from times to times. Is he going to narrate me how cruelly this beef was prepared? Perhaps that its throat was slit? I would just love to use a pneumatic pump to feed this guy his own shit, and then slit his throat.

  “Alright,” I tell him after gathering my thoughts, “we will make it happen. The technology is at the touch of our fingers, and I believe that with the combination of the know-how of my team plus my own input, we can definitively achieve the objective.”

  “Good, good,” he answers without smiling, “I will look forward to your success, then.”

  ***

  I look on the other side of the bed. There she is, the gorgeous female-me, in her naked beauty. I caress her breasts.

  “Mmm you want another go?” she asks, observing me, and sliding her hand on my belly.

  “No, I am good for now. I was delightfully surprised that you initiated it as soon as I went home.”

  “I had an annoying day,” she says while looking up and fixing her eyes on the ceiling. “I needed to find some comfort with you. And, well. Turns out I enjoy sex more than I thought I would. And being attracted to our bodies helps, you were right. Had you still been in the neuroscientist, I would have vomited.”

  “I see… That's good. So what did you do today?”

  “You asshole forgot to get her phone password before taking her over. I couldn't call her parents or anything. I looked up the application form of the girl to find out where she lives. She is in a house with roommates. I told the other girls that I am going to live a bit with my boyfriend so they don't launch a search warrant! Then I dug up in her papers to find where her parents live and I found their number. So now I will call them at times to times to keep them ignorant that she is dead. It was very awkward to have them on the phone. The mother asked me if I was on drugs while calling. I told her that I am not that stupid and that I was just feeling a bit under the weather.”